just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
