You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
