I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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