At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You can't special order awesome
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
