cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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