What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
