Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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