thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
