i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
