just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
