Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
