apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
