I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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