I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize