If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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