Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize