ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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