I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
