And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
They are going to name an STD after you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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