so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
