Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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