Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
