come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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