final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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