After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
