I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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