I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She needs sedatives and a leash
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
