But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
