Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
