did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
