why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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