It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
