Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
