Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
