I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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