What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
