I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
