so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
