I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
