nut hugger
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Screwed.edu
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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