I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
