Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
