So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
