i think my tv is drunk
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im holly from the hills drunk
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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