Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
