haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
