oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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