I'm lost and stupid without you.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
