I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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