I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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