carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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