Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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