You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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