I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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