dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
