Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We left an ass print on the piano.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
