I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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