How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
