So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
