Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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