Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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