Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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