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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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