dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
